Thursday, 18 March 2010

Lovely Spring Day and the ugly truth

Finally warm and sunny weather in Leipzig. I plan to celebrate it with a fast walk back home as a training session. Which is something I desperately need.

Why? Well, yesterday I finally came to realize the ugly truth when I looked at a mirror wearing a black tank top. I've got muffin tops and to make matters worse they are huge! No kidding.

"Tools are meant to teach you how to get to a certain point, a point where you can eventually let them go. They can show you the door, but it's up to you, and only you, to walk through." Sera Beak "The Red Book" p. 196

So what I realized when I read this was that I had stepped through this door several times, but I always turned around at some point and sat down in my armchair of bad behaviour and nonmovement. And this did not happen because there was nothing interesting happening at the other side of the door, no, I always turned around when I saw that it worked out fine for me!

Am I afraid of success and what it entails? Probably.

This could also be the reason, why I'm still without a new job. I do everything to sabotage myself and acting like the ostrich. Means over the last few months I either fled into the blogworld, some fantasy stories I made up myself or put my head under my pillow (I don't like sand that much;-)! And filled up with sweets!!! Which led to some weight gain.

Now, how to break through these patterns?! I have the necessary tools! Now I just need to step through that door and don't look back, just make one step after another. I'll have to close this door behind me forever.

Sera says treat yourself like a goddess on page 165 (though on another background). And I'll do so from now on, only the best and healthiest food I will put in my body. I'll treat myself with care, pampering myself from head to toe. Time to become the person I want to and can be. So the picture of treating me like a goddess works best for me at the moment, even though I find the other sentence hilarious. "Treat myself like a goddess, my ass, that's for airy-fairy girls; I want to treat myself like an active volcano!" p. 165 So funny.

I'll start out with eating healthy Thai food and some red bell pepper and radish for lunch and a massive omega 3 week. No unhealthy sweets anymore.

So, yesterday I took a look at my blind spot: Me.



  1. Dont worry, you will find something

    I like what Sera said

  2. The key for me has always been being happy with who I am now. I always want to improve, but those improvements and goals are realistic and obtainable...

  3. My Goals are realistic and obtainable. It's not as if I had the goal to be Dave Scott by next week.

    Being happy with myself sounds fabulous, but I never achieved that. Well, maybe as an infant.

    But thank you guys.

  4. Positive attitude is always the first step - stay with it!!!

  5. If you aren't happy with yourself then go out and do what you need to do. It's your decision.