Sunday, 13 September 2009

Dead End, lowest point and several reasons

Hi again,

one day before my 32nd birthday I thought it's time to get out again. Since my last post I have found out, what has been the reason for my weariness in the last months, have been hiking in Ireland, learned that I don't have a problem with walking in wet shoes (at least not in my trail running shoes, as ugly as they are), and have done some serious thinking about my goals.

Okay, one after another.

As you know, I had to cancel my 100 Day Challenge due to low energy levels. Which was really weird considering how much sugar (energy) I ate. When I went to my asthma checkup, I told my doctor and he guessed that my thyroid gland wasn't working properly. So they took blood and 4 days later I knew the reason for my weariness. Finally. I got my medication and after 1 month I start feeling better. Though I haven't lost any weight so far, in fact yesterday, was the worst day ever. 65,3 kg. Yikes. But I think it must have been a lot of water or so, since I weight only 64,1 kg this morning.

Anyway, one problem is solved. Eating properly, starting to exercise again and the medication will get me back on my way to Ironman or Marathon at first. Though not this year anymore. :(

Ireland was awesome. We've been to Connemara and the Burren, which is at the West coast of Ireland. We've even been to Inishmore, which is a really nice island. Though we had bad luck with weather, the group and the mood were absolutely superb. We've had a lot of fun and hiked a lot. Ever been to Kylemore Abbey? The victorian walled Garden is absolutely gorgeous and really relaxing. We were hiking six days, the worst day was the first. It was raining cats and dogs and we made a three hour hike at the coast. Even the best shoes went wet on the inside, mine were crooks. Don't buy hiking shoes from friend, go to a specialised store and get a proper consulting.
Anyway, the evenings in the pubs were nice and the food edible. Well, except for the cooked bacon which I hate.
I finished my Ireland trip with 4 days in Dublin, which were really relaxing after a whole week of hiking. I did some serious shopping (hey, I'm a girl, but I bought no shoes) and sightseeing. I loved the specialized DVD store. They even had the really old musicals. I could have bought the whole store, but I only bought 3 movies! "Blow Dry" (Comedy with Alan Rickman), "Annie get your gun" (Musical with Howard Keel) and "Under the Tuscan Sun" (Romance ? with Diane Lane).
Anyway, on Tuesday I hit the lowest point. I was at a point, where I had to do some serious thinking about my life. So I went downtown and sat down at Starbucks to think. I questioned my behaviour and unraveled some patterns of mine. Why do I tell you this? Because in this process I had to also question myself, why I want to do the Ironman. And for a few hours, I really wasn't sure, what my reason is and if I want to do it for the "right" reason. In the afternoon I walked to the Museum of Modern Art, which isn't that interesting, sadly. But when I got back to "my" Starbucks, I had found that I really want to do an Ironman, not just to get myself a racebike (which I really thought could be a reason for this and no this isn't a joke) but to actually show myself, that I have the discipline.
I can't say, that I've got lot's of new energy now, knowing that I not just want to do it to get some new things (that's my pattern I realised in Dublin), but to actually achieve something special. But I feel better and the energy will come back with time.

Well, this is it. Here I sit in my ugly but comfy armchair. Since my last birthday I haven't achieved that much. The last year was hell for me, except for starting this blog and my vacations. I loved being on Mauna Kea and watching the teleskops getting ready for a night of research. I loved hiking and drinking a whiskey at the summit of Ben Levi in Ireland. I loved starting out for my 100 Day Challenge.

So, what did I learn this last year?

Well, for one thing: You have to show yourself, in order to show your accomplishments otherwise, you will be overlooked.

Fashion and pampering myself is fun and makes me more comfortable in my own skin which leads to a better selfesteem.

High Heels accomplish that too.

I have the knowledge to be elite in all the areas, that I want to be, what I need now is simply practice, practise, practise.

Have a look at your thyroid gland every now and then, it might be the reason for some of your problems.

Don't have any offenders at home if you want to lose weight. (Milk chocolate (Kinder), chips and milk chocolate in my case.)

Okay, that has been quite a long post. If I find the time tomorrow I will post some pics from Ireland. Please bare with me, I have to prepare a whole french Dinner for tomorrow evening for 8 friends.

Believe in your abilities!