Second: My mood is a tad better than yesterday. A good nights sleep, mountains of chocolate and watching Harry Potter are doing their thing.
Third: I really have to fight with me, to not withdraw into my snails house, which I would love to do now. Rolling up in a warm sweater and scarf with a fantasy book and a hot chocolate and don't go out, don't get in contact with the world. It's what I usually did when someone was criticizing me. Living in my own safe world, where nobody can reach and hurt me. But I'm fighting it. I got up, I went to class with the streetcar, I didn't object to some girl who sat down next to me even though there were a lot of free seats in the streetcar, starting a new blog for my lomography. I'm fighting back this time.
Fourth: I got another film back yesterday. The pictures with people were awful. Not because of what happened on Monday, but because Leipzig isn't New York Fashion Week (surprising, no?). Shooting from the hip not knowing who stands there doesn't make good interesting pictures, the pics are boring and a waste of time and money. (No I won't post those two, they get canned.)
Fifth: As said before in point 3: I put up another blog. I was toying with this idea since the weekend. Only then I wanted to call it san analogue photography. Now I came up not only with a better name but also with a much more specific theme. It's called The Man-Made Project you find it here: http://the-man-made-project.blogspot.com/ It's much more simple than this and my style blog. It's about mundane man-made items. Shot mostly with my lomo fisheye. Since I want the pictures to have an artistic character. No people (guess why), just items (perfect, they don't get annoyed and hurt my feelings). I'm just starting out, but if it catches on and I hope so, I'll invite other lomographers and photographers to send me their pictures of mundane items to post them. I even got a new mail account at google for it. Yeah, well, I'm an engineer, we like to plan ahead. So it's also on another blogger account to make space for more pictures.
Sixth: KEEP MOVING FORWARD is my mantra these days. I'm constantly trying to envision how I want to be like (Jumping from the joy of winning the Ironman Hawaii, not the age group but the whole thing! hahahaha), my style (sleek and dark and classic, with Manga-style hair in platinium blond), my significant other (kind and loving, humorous, smart, tall, alpha-male, non-smoker, triathlete, some nice tattoos), my flat (sunny, roomy, nice kitchen and bathroom with a huge tub, high ceilings, canopy bed, with a park near for the running), my car (white Audi A3 sportsback, 159 PS Diesel engine), my life in general (lots of fun, laughter, fantastic help, many good friends, relaxation, triathlon, angst-free, a job I love with a nice but nevertheless successdriven team, rockclimbing, saving the environment on tree at a time, making the world a better place). I do this to not think of the past, to concentrate on my goals and finding my way to these goals.
(update) Seven: Düsseldorf has written. No new interview. It's really interesting, the applications I give a lot of energy and money to, all turn to dust. Gladly, I'll go to the cinema with Chris later. We'll watch "New York I love you" That means, I've got someone to talk the Düsseldorf employer to trash and a shoulder to cry on.
Eight: Oh, yeah, the pictures I got back today are a lot better than the film from yesterday and I went shooting in my big break. There was one thing I realized. People are afraid of cameras, even when they point away from them. It's weird.
Nine: Another application will get send out today.
KEEP MOVING FORWARD.