Dead End, lowest point and several reasons

Hi again,

one day before my 32nd birthday I thought it's time to get out again. Since my last post I have found out, what has been the reason for my weariness in the last months, have been hiking in Ireland, learned that I don't have a problem with walking in wet shoes (at least not in my trail running shoes, as ugly as they are), and have done some serious thinking about my goals.

Okay, one after another.

As you know, I had to cancel my 100 Day Challenge due to low energy levels. Which was really weird considering how much sugar (energy) I ate. When I went to my asthma checkup, I told my doctor and he guessed that my thyroid gland wasn't working properly. So they took blood and 4 days later I knew the reason for my weariness. Finally. I got my medication and after 1 month I start feeling better. Though I haven't lost any weight so far, in fact yesterday, was the worst day ever. 65,3 kg. Yikes. But I think it must have been a lot of water or so, since I weight only 64,1 kg this morning.

Anyway, one problem is solved. Eating properly, starting to exercise again and the medication will get me back on my way to Ironman or Marathon at first. Though not this year anymore. :(

Ireland was awesome. We've been to Connemara and the Burren, which is at the West coast of Ireland. We've even been to Inishmore, which is a really nice island. Though we had bad luck with weather, the group and the mood were absolutely superb. We've had a lot of fun and hiked a lot. Ever been to Kylemore Abbey? The victorian walled Garden is absolutely gorgeous and really relaxing. We were hiking six days, the worst day was the first. It was raining cats and dogs and we made a three hour hike at the coast. Even the best shoes went wet on the inside, mine were crooks. Don't buy hiking shoes from friend, go to a specialised store and get a proper consulting.
Anyway, the evenings in the pubs were nice and the food edible. Well, except for the cooked bacon which I hate.
I finished my Ireland trip with 4 days in Dublin, which were really relaxing after a whole week of hiking. I did some serious shopping (hey, I'm a girl, but I bought no shoes) and sightseeing. I loved the specialized DVD store. They even had the really old musicals. I could have bought the whole store, but I only bought 3 movies! "Blow Dry" (Comedy with Alan Rickman), "Annie get your gun" (Musical with Howard Keel) and "Under the Tuscan Sun" (Romance ? with Diane Lane).
Anyway, on Tuesday I hit the lowest point. I was at a point, where I had to do some serious thinking about my life. So I went downtown and sat down at Starbucks to think. I questioned my behaviour and unraveled some patterns of mine. Why do I tell you this? Because in this process I had to also question myself, why I want to do the Ironman. And for a few hours, I really wasn't sure, what my reason is and if I want to do it for the "right" reason. In the afternoon I walked to the Museum of Modern Art, which isn't that interesting, sadly. But when I got back to "my" Starbucks, I had found that I really want to do an Ironman, not just to get myself a racebike (which I really thought could be a reason for this and no this isn't a joke) but to actually show myself, that I have the discipline.
I can't say, that I've got lot's of new energy now, knowing that I not just want to do it to get some new things (that's my pattern I realised in Dublin), but to actually achieve something special. But I feel better and the energy will come back with time.

Well, this is it. Here I sit in my ugly but comfy armchair. Since my last birthday I haven't achieved that much. The last year was hell for me, except for starting this blog and my vacations. I loved being on Mauna Kea and watching the teleskops getting ready for a night of research. I loved hiking and drinking a whiskey at the summit of Ben Levi in Ireland. I loved starting out for my 100 Day Challenge.

So, what did I learn this last year?

Well, for one thing: You have to show yourself, in order to show your accomplishments otherwise, you will be overlooked.

Fashion and pampering myself is fun and makes me more comfortable in my own skin which leads to a better selfesteem.

High Heels accomplish that too.

I have the knowledge to be elite in all the areas, that I want to be, what I need now is simply practice, practise, practise.

Have a look at your thyroid gland every now and then, it might be the reason for some of your problems.

Don't have any offenders at home if you want to lose weight. (Milk chocolate (Kinder), chips and milk chocolate in my case.)

Okay, that has been quite a long post. If I find the time tomorrow I will post some pics from Ireland. Please bare with me, I have to prepare a whole french Dinner for tomorrow evening for 8 friends.

Believe in your abilities!

Revelations of a different kind

Sundays are my pampering-myself-days. (I've started out only recently. No more tomboy for me, Audrey Hepburn here I come.) And this whole day is geared towards caring for myself. I do my hair, skin and so on. (Hey, I finally have the eyebrows I've always wanted. It took only 1 hour of plucking! ;-) It's all about feeling good about myself and my appearance. And the revelation for me is right here, because it makes me feel so much better while I'm doing it and afterwards, it's FUN!!!

I know what you think, what has that to do with me getting to the Ironman Hawaii?! Well, what I realized a few minutes ago is that, I wanted to do the whole training and Ironman thing to proof myself. To proof to myself and my family and my friends that I could do it. (Same thing with losing the excess weight, I'm still in the "normal" range though on the upper end of the spectrum. And the 100 Day Challenge.) Nothing wrong with that, you might say, BUT it took the fun out of it. I really struggled and thats not good for keeping things up. I have to enjoy training to go for it again and again and again...

What now, you might ask. Do I still want to do the Ironman? The answer is a definitive YES. But I want to do it for the fun of it, for the feeling when I take part on the public runs and competitions. For the runners high. I've experienced it once, it IS absolutely fantastic. But all this I want to enjoy. I don't want to punish myself with running, exactly 1 hour every day or every second day. I want to enjoy both the training and the challenge.

So. I will start out with training again when I'm ready. Right now my priority is finding a new job (it's harder than I thought) and getting that wintercoat from Desigual (and learning how to wear heels the whole day).

By the way in exactly two weeks from now I will hike in the west of Ireland. It's VACATION TIME!!! Finally.

So, enjoy your life.

Prioritisation and French Women

Hi there,

first I have to make a confession, secondly I have some conclusions/explanations for me and you.

Confession: Two days ago I quit my running challenge for now.

Explanation: Remember that I told you that I need to find a new job?! Well, I really need to, my contract runs out in exactly 3 months. And I found it increasingly hard to focus on two things in the last few weeks. So I've decided to postpone my challenge until I found a new job and moved to my new place, wherever that might be. Next thing is, I was cutting back on the time I ran constantly, so that in the last few days I only ran about 10 min a day. Which is absolut nonsense to think of as training. So, I will go to the gym only thrice a week, but do a little more stretching and eat in a french way.

Wondering about the eating comment? Well, I found the book of Mireille Guiliano. I will start reading it today. (I know what you think, she can make time for reading this book but not for running?! Thing is, I need to read in the evening, to get enough sleep. If I don't have something interesting to read, I watch TV or youtube-vids and that is keeping me up the half night. Which is bad for my teint. ;-)

Anyway, I think eating for pleasure is a good lifestyle, especially since the other way is no fun at all. And it brought me only more fat(the other lifestyle).
Last night I enjoyed a glass of wine with my dinner. And I enjoyed my dinner (Maultaschen) a lot more than usual. I've even enjoyed two of my favourite cookies without feeling guilty about it, because I didn't binge on them. So I started out liking this "new" lifestyle. We'll see how it works out in the long run.

And on the bookhomepage www.frenchwomendontgetfat.com I found this nice quote:

French women are stubborn individuals and don't follow mass movements.

Which makes me like it even more.

My own lifemotto is:

The world is big and colourful.

Which is why I don't want to stay in the small town I live in now. I feel like I'm strangulated by it. I even enjoyed to stand in a traffic jam in Stuttgart last week and how sick is that?!!!

So, this is it for now. I'll keep you posted on my new lifestyle.

Day 26: Newsflash

Okay, I'm still running. But I've got totally off track when it comes to food. I've gained about 2 pounds.

Anyway, I've joined the Hopenhagen - movement today. The goal is to show the representatives of the different countries taking part in the Copenhagen Climate Conference on December 7th that we want them to take immediate action. They represent us, so they have to follow our lead. And we say do something for our planet. Stop talking and do a whole lot of useful things!!!!

There is a facebook-group, join it. Join on the official website. Tell your friends about it, talk about it at work, at the gym, at the supermarket and anywhere you can think of. Write an email to your representative. Help the earth, it's the only home we've got.

My little reforestation project works out fine, I've got 7 (or 6, cause I've already gave one to a friend) seedlings. And I've also have already learned a few things. So it's time to prepare the second round.

Go run.

Day 24: I did IT!

I'm so proud. Yesterday, I had to be at work at 6 a.m. and didn't know, when I would be back home in the evening. So, I stood up at 4:45 (well, actually it was 4:57 when I got out of bed, but you get the drift) in the morning and ran my round.

I got home after work around 9:30 in the evening, which was a lot earlier than estimated. Anyway, it was a hard day and still I feel it. I got into bed early and slept till 8 but I still don't feel that good. But nonetheless I will go for my run now and afterwards I go watching the new Transformers as a treat.

Tomorrow I will go back to the Gym and do a "real" training session.

Go run!

Day 20: Learning how to walk

No, I don't mean walk as in Power or Nordic Walking. What I mean is I'm learning how to walk with heels. For the men, yes, walking with heels needs practice. Especially I need practice since I normally wear sneakers. But I figured since I want to get a new job which is more elite and pays better, I better get used to wearing suits and high heals and tights (which I hate).

So this afternoon I went to the "city" and bought a cheap pair of high heals. Cheap because the small town I live in has this nasty cobble stone pavement and you ruin your shoes within a year if they have even the smallest heel. So, to not ruin my good shoes I bought some "training" shoes. I even bought 3 different pairs of footlets, to test them and also train wearing tights cause it's the fabric I can't abide.

As you can see, I train on all fronts. ;-P

Oh, nearly forgot. I still run everyday, mostly in the evening. Monday and especially Tuesday will proof my commitment. Since I have to be at work at 6 a.m. on Tuesday and it's open end on both days. Which means I have to get up really early for my run, like half past 4. Yikes. I get tired and yawning just thinking of it.

That's it for now. I'll walk in High Heels to the cinema and watch a movie. Training is everything. ;-)

Go running.

Day 15: Still running

though I had to cut back to a smaller round for 2 out of 3 days since my body needs the time to recover.

Yesterdays weighing reveiled a loss of 0,6 kg, which is fine considering I've had my red week last week. During that I normally gain weight.

And I mostly watched old movies at the weekend. The glass slipper with Leslie Caron is one of my all time favourites.

Cheers.